Oh, the fickle, fickle heart. One day it seems that a relationship is moving along smoothly, the stars are in perfect alignment and he (or she) may be "the One" that you've been holding out for all these years. And then it happens. You decide that your significant other is no longer as significant as you thought (was it just the constant rounds of Jack and Coke?) and you determine that the time has come to end the relationship. That mole on his shoulder is driving you crazy, or you just don't find her belching the words to Poker Face as cute as it once was. Whatever the reason you have for no longer wanting your boots parked beneath his bed - if your mind is made up – then a break up is in your future. So now what do you do?
Be Certain You Want to End It
While breaking up is hard and usually involves pain for both parties, it will be more painful for you if you decide a few days later that you made a mistake in breaking it off in the first place. By that time, he or she may have moved on – and may be so hurt by you breaking it off with them that they will never give you a second chance to break their heart again. Do you need a "cooling off" period because your partner has made you mad? If so, are you justified in being angry and can there be anything done to fix it? Take time to consider if breaking up is really what you want before you actually let the other person know that it's over. You may also find it useful to check your star sign to make sure that your two signs are compatible with one another; sometimes it just wasn't meant for certain signs to coexist in a relationship – but you might be great friends. When you're sure that you want to end it, stick to your guns.
Don't Delay the Inevitable
Sometimes people who want to end a relationship put off ending it, for this reason and then that. If you're sure that you are going "nowhere" together, then don't delay the inevitable. You both deserve the chance to move on, and by delaying the break up, you are being selfish.
Planning Your Break Up
Saying goodbye can be hard (especially if you have been together for a long time) – even if you're the one who is making the decision to call it quits. Depending on the reason for the breakup, you probably want to make breaking it off as pain-free as possible for the other person. On the other hand, if you caught him cheating on you with two of your best friends in your apartment, that's another thing. Chances are you'll want to exact your "pound of flesh" by breaking it off brutally, and without regard to his feelings. Either way, choose the words that you say carefully, and decide whether blurting out "it's over" is the way you want to leave things between the two of you. It's best to choose a time when the both of you are relaxed if you want the end to "end well".
Digital Breakups – the 21st Century Way to Say "Go to Hell"
As more and more people have begun to communicate almost exclusively via text messaging and email, the digital breakup is becoming more common. Gone are the days of the "Dear John" letter. While you might consider firing off a mean text to cut the ties with your boyfriend if you just found out he was featured on America's Most Wanted last night, it shows courage and integrity to say what needs to be said in person. Leaving nasty messages on his Facebook wall is not the way to go.
An "Amicable" Ending
Although the hurt that is causing you to break it off may be fresh in your mind, you should also consider that "this too shall pass". There are likely good qualities about this person that you were once so madly in love with that you will want to remember later on, and staying friends is always a better idea than parting as bitter enemies. Whenever possible, part as amicably as you can – you'll thank yourself down the road when you have "gotten over it" more and moved on.